That went by fast

The holidays sure flew by like a flash. Here I am, feeling like old times sitting at Momma T's posting on my blog like I was a year ago. Except this time I'm not pregnant, John is not whining at my side, and we aren't having to worry if anyone is going to be upset by what we say.

The kids got so many toys that we have absolutely no room for any of them. John was so excited to see all of his presents. Of course, as soon as he saw the Firetruck and DPS SUV that we got him, nothing else mattered. He would unwrap his toys and literally throw them to the side just to play with the Firetruck. Tiffany was kind of confused at first. She finally understood that we were not going to get upset with her for opening the gifts when we were at my brother's house. Once she knew that she was no longer going to get in trouble, she ripped open her presents. She got a TON of clothes. And to think, her birthday is next month! LOL I cannot believe that it has been nearly a year. Time for me to ask Momma T for the tape of her birth so that I can see it on her birthday. Zach got a nifty Robosapien ( I have no idea how to spell that) that burps, farts, and throws shit at you. Kaitlyn got her very own 4' tall Barbie Doll House. They had a great time.

I am so glad to finally have my friend back. It's wonderful to be able to call someone and know that they would be there for you in a heartbeat to help you. Take yesterday for instance. LMAO I am sitting at my MIL's house with Tiffany and I decide to go check on John. He was asleep next door at our house. So, I jog over and go to run up the stairs...BIG MISTAKE! I trip either over my feet that were inside of Steve's slippers or on the steps. Both would of made me trip. I fall and hurt my right leg. So, I some how get up the rest of the steps on one leg to see if I woke John when I screamed and then hop back over to my MIL's. I call Steve and I tell him I will call Tina to see if she can come look at it. Well, she's in town and says that she will be right over. She takes a look and said that I should get it X-rayed. So, we all ( she had Cam and Natthan) headed over to her house to see if Paul would take me. Well, I get up there and sit in a wheel chair in the waiting room.

I'm there for a while and in comes this girl bitching at the girl behind the counter and says that her son needs to be seen again because she lost her son's medicine. After she told her boy toy to "get the fuck out of her face" and her buying animal crackers to give her sick kid, I turned the chair around and asked if I could hold her son. I asked her what was wrong and she tells me that he has had a fever and has the symptoms for a cold. I asked her an obvious question, did she give the baby any tylenol or motrin for his fever.....she said NO! So, I told her to go home and get some tylenol cold and give him about a 1/4 teaspoon and call the doctor in the morning.

So, back to my leg. I finally get back there and they give me some tylenol and ibuprofin and take the x-rays. They come back and tell me that my leg is broke. WTF!!! I laugh at the doc and ask him if he is serious. When Steve gets there he comes and checks on me. He goes back out to look at the pics. and realizes that the name on the x-ray for the broken leg was not mine...

Gotta love Cleveland hospital...

They were preparing the stuff to splint my leg when Steve got there....Thank God my leg isn't broken. Now, we know where John gets it!

Can I please have some cheese with my wine?

OK so, I have been wrapping presents for 2 freakin' days and I am still not done. My back hurts, my chest hurts from the damn chest cold that I have, John and Tiff are getting into everything, and I am so tired. I still have most of mine and Steve's gifts to wrap and I don't feel like doing a damn thing. Yet, tonight I need to take a bath and blow dry my hair.

Tomorrow we are taking the kids to get pictures done...JOY...Can you see the big freakin' smile that is on my face? I get to be with the wonderful Ex of my DH and be with 5, yes that is FIVE, children. Along with my MIL and FIL going all the way to the Woodlands Picture People. I just hope that everything turns out OK.

So, off I go for now. Hopefully I still have all of my hair by the end of the holidays.

For the Fucking Record

For whoever wants to be the fuckhead who sends a damn anonymous letter to the fire department. Grown some fucking balls and make yourself known. If you are so fucking concerned about what is being done with the money for the department join. The known budget for the banquet was $2000.00 and that was to cover the caterer, the plaques and the money to go with the awards. It was also to buy something special for our gust speaker, which Tina and I put together by ourselves. The "thousands of dollars in door prizes" were donated by different companies and the churches in our area. And who the hell do you think busted their asses to get those prizes? MY Husband, PAUL, AND BRANDIE. Did anyone else bother to get off of their asses to help? FUCK NO! They all took time away from their families to do all of this. And let's not forget how much time Tina took getting the rest of the stuff that they did not get. Those gorgeous baskets and frames didn't fucking make themsleves all on their own. And the hot chocolate filled jars. Do you think they just fucking popped out of the air? No, in fact her and her son got together and put them together. So, go get a fucking life. Oh, and do you think that we are in the fucking ancient times? Our husbands do not tell us what to do. If we want to get on the computer and write on our blogs about whatever the hell we want so that we don't have to bother anyone with our problems, then by God we should be able to.

THANKS AND HAVE A GREAT FUCKING DAY

The party

So, the banquet was last night, as we all know from others' posts. The people at my table had a great time and as the night started I thought everything was going to be fine. The speaker was great and spoke of something that has been a problem in our department before. Respect. We all know what it means. We all know that we should do it.

Steve and I got the romance basket, and goodness!!! How did you get all of that in there, T? It looked amazing! I loved it!

A round about babbling of shit I can't comment

Because this damn computer wants to act like a fucking bitch who hasn't gotten her meds during her period!!!! I mean come on! Why can I leave one comment and then not even be able to view comments on another person's blog???

So, Cas, sometimes it is better to hold your tongue. If we did then who would tell people the truth? Wouldn't be a really boring world if everyone held their mouths shut and didn't blurt things out or vent? Hell, I like my friends calling me and venting. It helps remember that I am not the only one that is frustrated with things and hates the way that some people act. Have patience on the book writing. Who knows, maybe one day while you are sitting on the pot something will pop into your head and instead of having time to grab something to write on you will write your whole novel on a roll of Mega Ultra Charmin. Wouldn't that be something interesting to hand your editor??

Momma T, where do you get all of these hall of shame recipes? Goodness!!! I never knew that some people are so stupidly courageous to try all of these concoctions!!! LMAO Pretty big words, huh? I just knew that one day I would be able to actually use them!!! LMAO J/K

DL it's nice to see that you and my DH are having a friendly little contest about next years runs. But I tell you one thing, if he ever runs out on me in the middle of our bath time just because he wants to make sure he is ahead of you on runs, SOMEONE WILL PAY!!!! LOL I hope you both have fun. We just have to make sure that you, Steve and P are not in the same house that much. T makes a lot of food when we all get together and it sucks when no one else but us and the kiddos are there to eat it.

I miss those days. When we would all go over to T's house and play games. Now that Steve is always at work it's hard for me to go anywhere. Especially since the last few days the kids and I have been sick. So, I haven't gone anywhere to atleast give everyone else a chance of not getting the nasty crud that is circulating. I am still waiting on my chance to go play the new Monopoly game. Hopefully the kids start feeling better soon and I will. And maybe get the chance to cook something for T for a change...

Well, off to bed I go. Hope I don't wake up feeling the same way I did today.

Oh and I forgot...

For some reason this stupid computer is not letting me comment on any blogs... So, this is why I haven't really been commenting. I'm not ignoring anyone, I promise. Just can't get into the damn comment pages!!!

Just Stuff

So, we have decided to tradethe trailor in for another one. We are still going to have it at the same place, just a different one. One that doesn't need so much damn work to it. Which, is great with me. I am right down the street from the school so, when my kids eventually get to go to school, they won't be that far.

We got Tiffany's ears pierced on Sat. She looks so cute!!!! She screamed for about 1 minutes, but after that she was good. Sha hasn't messed with them at all. No problems....Except for cleaning time. She hates for you to mess with the ear rings. You can put the solution on, but it is a fight to turn them and make sure that they aren't stuck. It's ok though. She let me fix her hair today in cute little pig tails. She really looks like a cheerleader now! LOL I think it is fun to finally get to fix her hair. I know I could have before, I just didn't know what to do or have the stuff to do it with.

John got to see his paternal grandparents on Sat., too. He was great. Smiled for every picture and even put in a few handsome poses. LOL Sandy (the grandmother) brought him a few cookies that she had baked and some suckers. She handed him one of the cookies and told us that they were his favorite "Oatmeal-Chocolate Chip". He took one bite, scrunched up his nose and closed his eyes, gave a polite "mmmm" and promptly walked to the trash can to spit out the bite he had taken and threw the rest away!!!!! LMAO Can you imagine John throwing anything away??? It had to be gross!!! It took all of mine and my MIL's strength not to bust out laughing!!! As soon as they left, I asked my MIL if she would like a cookie...She said HELL NO!!! We couldn't contain our laughter!! What kind of cookie is that anyways? Why ruin such wonderful cookies by mixing them??? LOL

Anyways....I gotta get going. I need to clean the kitchen. I have had a very lazy day today. I hope all is well with everyone else!

I'm Back!!!!

OK..I am finally back on the prairie!!! I feel like I am back at home again. Things are finally looking up and look like they will stay that way.

I talked with the Sperm Donors lawyer today and it seems I am getting things my way, finally. He will not be allowed to be alone with John John until he can pass a hair follicle test. He will also start paying child support starting this weekend. He only gets supervised visits at his parents house (yes, I know. I remember all that happened, but this time it's all in paper and in the system!!) and he is not to take him off any where. John John got to talk to his grandfather tonight before he went to bed and had a blast on the phone for 20 Minutes... Can you believe that? 20 freaking minutes on the phone at the age of 2!!!! But, at least everything will be set and I don't have to worry about the idiot corrupting my son.

I went over to Momma T's tonight to get a fax from the lawyer ( I accidentally gave the lawyer the wrong number...Give me a break I'm dyslexic!). So, on the upside I got to spend an hour and half at her house. :) I get to back tomorrow and spend some more time with her. This time I will have Tiffany with me. I love going to her house and having a girl to chat with again. Steve and I have decided to stay here and fix up the house. He also wants to see if he can rejoin the fire department. Ya know, maybe if someone had gotten me to ask him before, he might have agreed sooner!! LOL J/K

Being back has a lot of perks. My MIL and I are getting along a lot better than before. And we are getting to see the kids more often now. Anyways, I know it has been a while since I posted but I really haven't had much to say. I'm just finally happy and it feels wonderful...

Now I'm Fucked....

Well, the Sperm Donor has gotten his way. I have no choice but to sign the papers to let him see John. He has gotten a court date set and I don't even have any money to pay for a lawyer. By the time I could even get the money, we wouldn't be able to move or pay for christmas. So, now I have no choice but to send him over there. I wasn't even served with papers. I have no idea why this shit happens to me...

Oh and me and the female parental unit got into because of all of this so, everything is even better than it was the last time I posted...Joy. The life of mine is so grand isn't it?

Just another day in the wonderful life of family...

And I'm not talking about my kids or Steve.

My older sister is back in the house with us. She is in Jimmie's room, Jimmie is in the computer room with the day bed, and Steve and I are still in the add-on with the kiddos. Alicia now has the brilliant idea of home schooling her kids. Wow, aren't they just gonna have every opportunity in the world now...Her boyfriend is working in New York. For what? I have no fucking clue. So, her and her 4 kids are going to be living in hotels while he is gone...I have no idea why she is here. She has a hotel room in Freeport that is paid up until the 25th, but since she doesn't want to be alone and doesn't have any help with her 4 kids she is staying here until she can find another place. Joy for me. Instead of me taking care of 7 people, I am now taking care or 12 again. Oh, and did I mention that she is pregnant yet AGAIN!!! This is now her 5th child to be born and she is chain smoking and not eating. So, I am guessing that this is another child that Steve is going to have to pick up when he's born. She is 6 months pregnant and still wearing a size 3 in jeans.

So, again my migraines have come back.

I am sick of being here and tired of having a shitty family that only has a few good people in it. What happened to my family? What went wrong? I have wonderful grandparents who are still married and get along great with eachother. It just goes downhill from there. My mom is an alcholic; my uncle is now my aunt; my older sister is a mooching whore with too many damn kids that she doesn't even take care of right; my biological father I have never really know anything about except that he used to be addicted to Black Mollies; I never got to know my brother either. I just don't understand. Is it wrong for me not to want to be around this people and have my children be around them? Am I such a bad person for not really wanting to speak to my mom? I know they have helped me when I needed it, but they still treat me and my family (Steve mainly) like crap. Yet, the guy my sister is with can go from job to job and they can blow all of their money on only god knows what, and he is treated like he is better than everyone. Yeah OK so the guy actually gets dirt all over him with the jobs he gets. So what! The type of job shouldn't matter if you are actually working and keeping a steady job!

Anyways, off to try and get John to lay down and play with Tiff. Maybe my head will stop hurting soon...Hopefully...

Echo...

It has really been quiet around blog world lately. I guess people have just been really busy. I think I am finally one of the only ones who actually has to sit at the house and do nothing. Oh well. Hopefully I will be able to get out more often. My mom got a new rat dog. It's half dachsaund and half of the other yapper dog that I have no idea how to spell (the little Taco Bell dog). And on top of that, it's brendal colored. It's so darn ugly that it's kinda cute. He likes trying to chew on Tiffany's feet and peeing on mom's $250 cow skin rug...The second part of that I think is funny. Of course he is scared of John, but what puppy is not going to be scared of John??? LOL

Tonight I am so bored I have really nothing to talk about. I am hoping that Steve and I will be able to go visit an old friend of mine. She is having a little get together at her house and some of my other old friends will be there. I never really realized how many people I knew and how many of them considered me as their friend. When I got on Myspace I didn't think I was going to have that many friends. Then I actually started missing high school. Well, parts of it. Not the boyfriend I had. I think he may be one of the things I would have changed. I just miss talking to people and interacting with a real person instead of chatting with them online. Don't get me wrong, I would never trade Steve or my kids for anything in the world. Hell, I have given up more for them than anyone else or thing in my entire life. I just miss my friends. Next year I am going to school. Finally have the chance to begin my dream. The only thing I am worried about is meeting new people. I always seem to give the wrong impression to people. I don't mean to come across as a bitch or anything, I just don't trust many people. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

I am also getting tired of being in this house. I know that it is our problem for being here. Just tired of so many set backs. I can't wait to move so that I can get a job when we get a second vehicle. I hate not contributing to the family. It used to be the other way around when I was with the Sperm Donor. I was the one working all the time and busting my ass to keep my head above water making $7 an hour at Wal-Mart. I think it's wonderful that I finally have a man that can actually go out and get a real job since he doesn't have a record (thank god).

I dunno...I think I am done rambling for now. I hope all is well with everyone else.

Something To Offend Everyone!!!

OK So, I couldn't help myself. I had to post something to make people laugh. Too many serious things going on for me not to show my true spirit. Funny thing is is that some of these apply to a lot of people!!! Love you guys!!


SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE:

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with.. "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

HELP!!!!

Does anyone have any freaking hints on potty training little boys!!!! I am seriously about to go nuts trying to potty train John!!! It seems like I have tried everything under the sun and nothing wants to work. Treats worked for 2 days. Now he won't tell me that he needs to go potty and lies about pottying in his pull up.

Rambles and Stuff

Well, this weekend was better than some I have had in the past this month. I, again, had to take John to the ER...I hate that he always seems to need a doctor at night!!! He decided to take a tumble off of the bed he was sleeping in, which was a bed that is about 2 foot from the ground. The ER Doc. thought that he might have had a broken arm and took some x-rays...Of course John was screaming the whole time. Thank God he didn't have one though. Just a bruised elbow and he put it in a splint then a sling. John DID NOT like that! The Doc said that it would be OK if he took it off the next day. So, since he said he didn't have to have it on, I took it off for when we got home. He passed out on the couch and in the morning he said he was a little sore but didn't want any meds when I asked him.

Tiffany is doing great. Another thing I have learned, don't give her the Vegetable Bacon Dinner. She will be up for ever with gas and tummy ache. I am patiently waiting for her new teeth to come in though. OK maybe impatiently. She is chewing on everything!!! I think I am going to go buy her a dog toy so that she can chew on something that will help her out better than the teethers I have for her. J/K

I finally got to go by Momma T's house. We sat and talked for a while and let the kids play. Then we went out so that we could look at all of her animals. Tiffany laughed and cooed at her. John got to talk to P on the phone about firetrucks and ambulances. P didn't know what he was saying, but T translated for him after John handed the phone back. It was nice just being able to sit and talk again.

Anyways...Other than that nothing is really going on. So, I guess I will go for now. Hope everyone else is doing great.

The kids and other stuff

Tiffany has finally started to crawl!!! After a couple of months of me putting her on the floor until she cried finally paid off! She hasn't quite grasped the concept of putting her knees under herself to help, but she does pull herself along with her arms. It's so cute! We took her to the doctor yesterday to finally get her caught up on her shots (Yes, I know. You don't have to say it!!! I already beat myself up for them not being on time!) and she got weighed and measured. She is 27 and 1/2 inches tall and weighs 18 lbs. 7 1/4 oz. She is getting sooo big! A very big valuable lesson for me today is that she does NOT like green beans with turkey. What is it with the green veggies? Do all babies (except John) hate them? She is also over her ears hurting and Dr.Kelley says that she is def. teething and her top teeth should be coming very soon.

John does so much better with Dr.Kelley. He hates female doctors. He doesn't mind nurses. He sat there so nicely while Dr.Kelley checked his ears and his breathing. He is 37 1/2 inches tall and weighs a whopping 38 lbs.!!!! He is also over his ear ache. John is still eating just about everything in sight.

Yesterday was also Jimmie's 14th birthday. Joy. She is getting older and making me feel like I belong in a museum (not saying that I AM old or that anyone else is!!! We all know how teens can make you feel old no matter what age you are!). I hope she had a good day despite my mom and her bad mood.

Which, I think she is in a permanent bitch mood when it comes to Steve and I. Yes, I know, I hate the fact that we are again living in her house. That does not mean that she has any right to disrespect us. I guess that people who are not in our "family" of Firefighters and Medics will never understand the scheduling of the person who works in either field (or both) or how draining it can be on that person. No matter how hard I try to make her understand, she still wants to complain that Steve is trying to alienate himself from the family anytime we have a get together (which always happens the day he gets off from a 24 hour shift).

And, speaking of Steve...Thank you so much for apologizing to Momma T. I know that she greatly appreciates it.

Cat, I hate that you and your family (husband and wife that is) are having to go through this tough time. I know that I have never met you, but you are free to email or call me at anytime! Just let me know if you want either of them!

Well, I think that is enough for the day. I hope everyone has a better weekend than they have had for this week.

The Day Off

Well, yesterday was wonderful!!! Steve and I got to spend the whole day together and met with a friend for lunch. At Hooters, of course!! We went to see a movie called Step Up, which was awesome!!! It was so nice to get out of the house without the kids for a while. I can't wait until we get to do it again.

A day off!!

Well, both of the kiddos are doing MUCH better today. Only John still refuses to take his medicine for me, yet he does great with Steve. He kicks and screams when I try to give it to him. Oh, well as long as he gets better. Tiffany is teething so she is still going to be a little cranky, but not as much.

I finally get to have a day off tomorrow!!! We are having someone watch the kids during the day so that Steve and I can spend some time together. I haven't been without them for months!!! I am going feel so strange. I have always hated leaving my kids with someone else. I always felt so guilty. Like I was doing something wrong. Is that normal?

Anyways, ever since I cut my hair I have not had a visit from Mike. Sorry to everyone else that has. Hopefully my Mike days are gone for a while. Now I just have to worry about a stomache pain that has been bothering me today. No, not Flo. Just something to watch to make sure it doesn't get any worse.

I hope everyone else has a good day.

Just Stuff

Well, everything has just about been in a uproar around here. Johnathan and Tiffany both have ear infections. Neither one of them are feeling too well and both of them are crankier than ever. But, atleast I know what is wrong and I am able to give them the meds that they need to get better. One major thing that sucks though is that my plans had to be canceled for tomorrow. But, hey anythings for my babies!!!

Last night Steve and I took the Kaitlyn, Zach and Tiffany to Incredible Pizza. Talk about the best food and games!! The pizza didn't taste like cardboard and the drinks weren't flat. Me, Kaitlyn and Zach rode the bumber cars...I had a blast!! Then we went into the arcade area. Zach wanted to play all of the big games, of course, and Kaitlyn, Steve and I played Ski Ball. We had so much fun. I can't wait to do it again!!!

And Jimmie has just been a big ball of fun. Can't you just see my sarcasm??? I remember these days. Trying to have everything her way, when she wants it. Lovely teenage years!!

Other than that, everything is fine and dandy!

ok

Today I am completely bored!!! Steve is at work and I don't have a vehicle. I can not wait until we get a new one. I don't mind so much being a stay at home mom, I just get bored.

But, I did get to get out yesterday!! I even went to get my haircut. I chopped off about 8 inches of my hair!!! I got up from the chair and there was all my hair on the floor! LOL It's ok though. I LOVE the way it looks. And, no more headaches...atleast none caused by my hair!!

Alrighty...Off to do nothing again....Seems like that is all I do sometimes.

9/11

I know that I will never forget this day. I thank God that we have the wonderful people in uniforms that risk their lives every day to keep us and our freedom safe from the terrorists who hurt us so badly that day. I pray for the families who lost loved ones that day and for all the firemen, police and innocent people who died.

Another thing

No one try the new beta blogger..it sucks. If you join it you can't post a comment on a non-beta blog. Which I tried!


UPDATE TO THIS:
The new beta is actually pretty cool. You get to customize your blog to the way you want it. Including all of the fonts and colors of you template. All you have to do is update your template and it doesn't erase your links. I can post comments on blogs, but until that blogger changes to beta I have to post as anon and leave my name so that no one will confuse me with the original ANON.

Just Babbling

Well, I only have 6 more days until I can get my hair cut...Thank God!! I am tired of the headaches and Tiffany pulling on it when I get out of the bath.

Johnathan is finally ready to be potty trained!!! YAY! Rewards with M&Ms are great. He does pretty good, except for when he has other things to do besides pee. LOL I have always wondered why it is so hard to train boys. I have always heard that it is easier for girls. What do ya'll say?

My little sister is still going through her awkward teen years and is getting on everyone's nerves. Hopefully she will get out of it soon. She has her good days when she doesn't snap or give dirty looks (which I think we all have). Thank goodness she in on the pill to regulate her hormones...Otherwise I think we would be in a world of hurt when it came to her.

Ok. Well, I'm off to go do something...I just don't know what yet. I hope everyone is doing well and had a fun weekend.

My step-dad

Is getting to come home. I don't know exactly what the test results are but I do know that they reduced his atenolol...I think that's how you spell it. I looked it up on the net and read the side effects. He was showing 3 of the serious ones that it showed. But, all in all he is doing great and will be home tomorrow!!! I am so happy that he is ok. I was really stressed the day he went in. Even had a visit from what some people call Mike. I just though you all might have wanted an update. Thank you all for caring and keeping him in your prayers. It really worked!

And here it is

I knew something was going terribly wrong. My step-dad is now in Hermann Hospital in the CCU and is disoriented. I can't even be there with him. My mom and little sister just left to be with him. Steve isn't here and won't be until about 7 in the morning. I am so scared that I will never get to see him again. I don't want to lose the only father figure that I love. I never got to tell him that I loved him before he left to go to his sister's house last night. I love him so much...

What a week

It has really been a roller coaster ride for this past week.

Steve's loving his job again. We are both happy with it. He is on a 9 day rotation, like HFD. So, he will be home more. He has a set schedule and they usually ask him before he leaves work if he would like to work OT.

The kids are doing great. Tiffany got to swim in the lake and a swimming pool for the first time this weekend. The lake she wasn't too sure of. She loved the pool though! And I have a pretty good pic of it, too. John and I both got a tan and it was so nice to get out of the house for the day.

Last night I got to talk to 2 of my friends that I haven't talked to in a long time. First, I found out that one of my guy friends has fallen in love with a wonderful woman and they plan to have a baby. Then I finally get to talk to Momma T. Thank you again for calling me. It is reassurance that we are still friends.

Most of the week the parental units have been fighting though. Really heavy at the beginning of the week then about 3 days ago, the male unit apologized to the female unit (he says he doesn't know what he did wrong) and they made up. Then yesterday it started all over again. I have no idea what or who to believe. Mom tells me one thing and he tells me something similar and then it swaps, he will tell me something and then she will tell me something completely different. I know that he is only my step-dad, but we have become really close. He says that they always argue because of my older sister (the one who never likes anyone mom is with and everyone always favors me over her-whole oter story on that crazy person) and she says that its because he is bipolar and just goes nuts. I have no idea what to do or say. I hate getting in the middle of things. She always accuses me of taking his side. And as I am typing this I am still being bombarded with shit I really don't care to know. Steve has taken Brian to his sister's house so at least he will be gone for a few days. I just get tired of hearing it.

I also just find out that someone I know has recently found out that she has the same disorder that another good friend of mine has. I have no idea what God has in this plan, but I hope she pulls through just as Momma T. Why is it always happening to the good people? Why can't some of the child molestors, rapists, murderors, pediphiles (I have no idea how to spell that damn word) or junkies get the shit that makes you suffer?? All I do know is that her and her family will be in my prayers.

Who knows maybe next week will get better. Then again knowing my record everything will just keep getting shitty.

The Sperm Donor Strikes Again

Well, he called my mother's house looking for me once again. This time to say that he wants my address to have me served with papers. I can't beleive that I might have to let my poor little boy go see that pathetic excuse for a man, much less a father. He had a lawyer send some to me about 2 months ago. I went to a lawyer myself and he told me to just discard them. That they didn't mean anything since they weren't actually served to me by a constable and just sent in the mail. And, now here is the end of my battle. Unable to afford the lawyer, I am more than likely going to have to just give up. I am going to have to prepare to deal with my little boy crying when I pick him up because they have taken him into a back room when I get there. I guess they give him a toy to play with and then take it away. He was always so happy and ready to jump in the car. But, since I have to go inside to get his things, they take him back in to. And that is when they take him to the back room. I also have to prepare for the CPS calls again. They seem to think that I am an unfit mother and that I have no idea how to raise a child. I know that my family was not the greatest when I was growing up, but I know what to do most of the time. Hell, I have even wanted to become a Child Advocate a few times. Now I am going to have to let him go for a weekends at a time instead of just a few hours. Now Steve can't adopt him. I feel like I am putting him in more danger by just letting him go but, I it's like I have no choice in the matter. I wish we had moved to Nevada. Or hell, anywhere but where I am. I'm basically a sitting duck with a shotgun pointed right at me. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. I thought things were going so great. I never thought that he would have the money to do this. And here he is with his parents backing him.

Well, off I go to bed...Hopefully I will get some sleep.

Babies and Magic

Well, Tiffany is 7 months old and refuses to crawl. She will get up on her hands and spin on her tummy. Then when she sees what she wants she will roll to it. It is so funny because when you put her on the floor she will "magically" be in a different position, but you will have no idea how she did it! And she is finally beginning to accept some baby food. She does NOT like any veggies with out a little salt and she still doesn't like some fruits. So different from JohnJohn. For all of you who don't know John, he is my human garbage disposal. He likes to eat everything in sight, even out of the garbage. Which he did over at T's many many times...LOL

I am glad to know that things can be forgiven. People just need to learn when to listen and when to speak (as a certain man who once had a mullet said). Learn how to let things go in one ear and out the other...Or in blog world, in one eye and out the other.

You're gonna pop my bubbles!

I can't believe how much my little boy has grown. Today we were outside blowin' bubbles with a bubble set that my mom bought for him. He had his own little bottle and I had mine. (I also had my mom's digital camera to catch those candid moments!) I blow some bubbles, so nice and steady. Then John starts to pop my pretty little bubbles. "You are gonna pop my bubbles," I told him. He looks at me and so sweetly says, "Sorry mommy. I sorry." I almost cried!!! He is getting so much better!

Update

Well, Tiffany is getting bigger and bigger. She rolls to her stomach, then lays her head on her arms and gives you the sweetest look! I am thinking of going back to work. I will miss her soooo much! And, John is talking so much better. He still says truck and fire truck funny but, other than that he's better. Of course he is still a little terror. Hopefully he will grow out of that soon.

I have recently found out that one of my best friends is pregnant. I am happy for her because she gets the baby she has always wanted, but I feel sad because it's not under the best of circumstances. Thank goodness she is considering moving to Florida to be close to Tonya. That way she will have some help without being criticized by her family. Her baby is going to be so beautiful.

I also got to see a picture of Tonya's little boy today. He is so handsome!!! I can't wait until I get to see him and Paris. Only in time though.

Well I'm off for now.

Just Stuff

So, I have now realized how much has actually happened this week.

I had started to watch a friend of mine's child on Tuesday (the anniversary of my dad's death). Boy was that a fun time. I watched him a full three days and then remembered why I didn't want to have my kids so close together in age. The little boy - actually he was not so little - was three years old. Well, needless to say, he and John did not get along. As long as I kept them seperate they were fine. They could not be in the same room for 5 minutes without fighting though. I think I pulled out more hair in those 3 days than I have ever watching any kids. I would have wathed all of the kids on the prairie together than watch him and John together again. And with them fighting so much, Tiff hardly got any sleep. Who, by the way, is getting her first 2 teeth in!

Well, off I go. I think Tiff might have something to say here, too.

mpo./,889090ok, b545gf

Happy Birthday

TO ME!

Bittersweet

Today has been one of those bittersweet days. I woke up in a really good mood with Tiffany laughing. John was his normal self, so that didn't bother me. Then I read a book that Steve had gotten from the library about 9/11. Well, for some reason it got me thinking about how much I miss my dad. And, then it hit me...He has been gone for 10 years. A full decade. I can not believe it has been so long. I miss him so much.

Then I started thinking about my biological father. Today is his birthday. I thought about calling him but, I always feel so weird talking to him when I do call him. I completely feel uncomfortable with myself. I know the whole side of that family doesn't like me because I don't keep in touch the way that my father wants me to. But, how am I supposed to be a part of a family who has never accepted me? I have always felt like an outcast when I have been around them.

And then on top of all this I want a friend that doesn't live out of state. I had a really great friend at one time, but then things happened and I lost her. It was like losing a sister. I just don't know if anything would be the same if I were to get her back.

But, on the upside my birthday is on Sunday and my mom is giving me a BBQ type party that hardly anybody is going to be at. But since I am trying to get on a better side with my mother-in-law (which is working a lot better than it used to) I invited them over.

Well, I'm off. Hope everyone else is doing better than me.

6 Months

It is so hard to believe that my little Tiffany turned 6 months old yesterday!!! She has gotten so big! She has learned how to sit up and she laughs out loud. And of course she is such a daddy's girl. She does everything for him first. Halfway to a year and it doesn't seem like it has been that long.

Mice and Snakes

As I sit here reading an old friend's blog, I begin to laugh my ass off. One of her worst nightmares have come true, yet the one memory that pops in my head was the night of the mouse. Me (big and 9 months pregnant) was sitting on the couch with S and T was sitting in her chair when a blood curdling scream comes from her bedroom, from Cammie of course. T jumps up and runs to her door and asks him what happened. All of a sudden all I hear is, "OH SHIT". And there sitting on the friggin' door jam was a HUGE MOUSE!!!!! I jump up on the couch cause there is no way I am letting my feet touch the ground, S is trying to see if he can try to get to where the mouse is to kill him, and T is standing back trying to comfort Cammie who is screaming at the top of his lungs. T then calls DL to come over and help us. Well, he just laughs at us all for being such dorks and somehow manages to kill the damn thing behind the hall door. And, of course John doesn't wake up until the whole ordeal is over. Cammie refused to go back into the room until T finally convinced him that there were not any more mice in the entire house! And this couldn't have happened at a decent our either...

That has to be one of my funniest memories...Sorry, T, but you have to admit that you laughed your ass off after it was all over!

Wishes

What are people really suppoesed to wish for? I always see emails or bulletins that say make a wish and if you send this to so many people it will come true. So, what are you supposed to wish for? Wealth? Friendships to have lasted longer? Everlasting happiness? Who knows...I never know what to wish for. As of right now I have almost everything that I have ever wanted. My children, a loving husband, and living comfortably in my own house. I never knew that it would take so much hard work. I guess that is what happens when you don't have the proper teaching growing up. I'm not blaming what has happened to me on any of that, I'm just saying that maybe, just maybe things would have been different. Maybe that is the only thing that I can wish for. That I will have the strength to raise my children the way they are supposed to be raised and to help them through the things that plague our children these days. Someone who was very special to me once told me that I was stronger than she...If she only knew how scared to death of the world I really am and how I only wish that my children never have to go through the things I have and are stronger than I have ever dreamed of being....

Old Friends

So, there I was, applying for a job at Lowe's and there she is...Anna. I haven't seen her since the 9th grade. She was my best friend in Livingston when I went to school there. Eventually we grew apart. I believe that my place was the only place her parents would let her go to. And she didn't even come over that much...I mainly went to her house. She had these 2 beautiful wrots (don't know how to spell it all the way out!). They use to actually vacuum them! Funny thing is is that when she was walking up from the back of the store, she had already seen Steve and the kids. So when she paged him to come up to the front, she looked at them and said that she had already seen the cute little boy with the green truck..LOL. Then on top of it all, I know like 3 other people that work there...Including the Cashier manager. So, hopefully I can get a job!

Dreams...

How many dreams do people have that never get fulfilled? How many people really want them to take place? I know that most of mine already have been. I have a wonderful husband and my children. I have always wanted a happy family. I have never let anything get in my way of that either. But, what about those dreams that are reaccuring? The ones that you want to happen so badly. I love to make some of those dreams come true...I'm just that type of person. You may be scared to do it, but how will you know if you actually like it until you try?

Just sittin around

I hate not having anything to do. I can't wait to get a job. I wanna be a waitress somewhere. I found a 24 hour daycare for the kids...And not one that most of the workers speak Spanish. This is a nice lady at home. I hate being at my mom's too. Everyone old enough smokes and there are too many damn kids. Kids who get on my damn nerves. By the age of 6 you should already know not to freakin argue with your parents....You will NOT win. No matter how big of a fit you win. At least that's how it should be. With my sister it is a different case at times. Getting woke up at 5:30 in the fucking morning because her kids don't know how to fucking act is getting on my damn nerves. Oh well, I gotta put up with it!

Just Stuff

Well, I had to call an ambulance for my stepdad today. His blood pressure was up to 185/110. He's at Hermann now. Hopefully everything goes well. I would really hate to lose him. I like him so much. He is actually one of the only men that my mom has been with since my dad died that I like. My mom is upset about it, but she's hopeful, too. I pray that everything is fine. Steve has a wonderful job with Gaurdian EMS and they are putting him through Paramedic school. Which is awesome cause we will get completely paid back for it all. I thank God that he didn't stay at the other companies that he worked at. He's really happy with his job now so, I don't have to worry about anything. We didn't get to go to the Zoo like I wanted, but we will in a couple of weeks. Well, time for me to go and get some sleep...

The Zoo

I plan on taking John to the Zoo for the first time. I'm kinda scared to see how he is going to react. I don't know if he is going to love the animals or be annoyed and wine the whole time. I guess I really shouldn't worry about it...What kid doesn't like the zoo? He loves dogs. Tiffany is doing well. She's getting so big!! She can almost fit into 3-6 month clothes now and she's only 8 weeks. Steve has a great job with an EMS company and is about to get a second as a part-time job. The sperm donor is being an ass and has apparently found where I am. That's ok though, he's still not seeing John. Well, off I go...

Snowballing

I was sitting here reading someone's post and realized how much people always snowball the truth. And it is just to make other see what we want them to see. These blogs are meant for people to vent the truth and not care what others think. Yet, I see many just covering up what they have really felt and what they really mean to say. Why have a place like this and do that? I don't know...I just can't wait until I move away from everyone who is childish (including those in my family) and being with my true friends and family. I just hope that Steve never regrets it. I pray that it never drives a wedge between us because we are going to be so far away from half of our children. When we move, we can start with a new slate. Make new friends and continue and old friendship of mine...With my Tonya. See, we had our kids really close together. I had my son 2 days before she had her daughter and I had my daughter 6 weeks before she had her son. She got married a year before me though. Her and Amy have been my BFs since 9th grade. Maybe that's why they are the main ones that I trust. Well, Tiff is asleep now, only John left to go...But it doesn't seem like that is going to happen anytime soon and it is now 4 a.m.!!!

Late Nights...

Or early mornings? Kids have no perception of time. They don't care what time it is, day or night. When they want something, they have to have it right then. My 2 year old son decided that he didn't want to take a nap yesterday until 4 o'clock in the afternoon. When he did wake up, he was sick. So, Steve and I gave him some meds...Well that knocked him out. Then at 2 A.M. he decides that it is time to wake up and play. Then he's hungry because he didn't get to eat dinner (he wasn't hungry at that time). All the while, my 2 month old was awake and didn't want to be put down...I know I seem to have spoiled her already but, I always spoil my babies. Even John is spoiled. Some days he's a momma's boy and others he's a daddy's boy. Tiffany really doesn't know much of a difference right now. I love my kids though...