How time flies

This year seems like it took forever during the pregnancy, but now that it is over it seems like it just flew by.

Jessica is now a month old. She is starting to look like a baby now instead of an alien. She hasn't grown in length and has only gained 10 ounces, which puts her at 7.1 pounds. She has developed a small bald spot where her skin has peeled on her forehead. Hopefully it won't take too long to grow back.

Tiffany will be 3 next month. She is growing up to be quite a handful at times. She's learning that not all kids are nice and they will take toys away, hit and just be plain mean. Which in turn she is learning to do the same. The hitting stopped really quick. But, she has learned how to be mean. I'm trying to teach her otherwise, but I can't seem to figure out just how to do it.

Johnathan is getting so big. Soon he will be 5. It is so hard to believe that it has really been that long. He's had perfect attendance this year and he is learning so much.

Well, off I go to pick him up from school.

I only thought that I was emotional before!

I never knew that I could have so many good emotions running through my mind! I am so happy now. My family is complete and pretty soon my whole life will be complete. This is one of the best weeks that I have ever had.

It started off wonderfully with the birth of our final little princess, Jessica Grace. I was so nervous that I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't even think straight. I had everything packed for the hospital by the time Steve got home from work... So I thought. On the way to the hospital I realized that I had forgotten the orders for my induction! Of all the things for me to forget to pack! Well, I thought I would save time by calling the doctor's office and have them fax it over to the hospital. Yeah right. I waited for over an hour and they never faxed them. I wasn't upset with them though. It wasn't their fault that I didn't have my orders. So, Steve goes to the house and returns within 20 minutes. I turn them into admitting and off to L&D we go. We get back there and the chastise me for being late! LOL I tell them that I had been up front for the past hour and a half and they understand after that. Well, then they tell me that I am going to have to wait until they get a delivery room available and cleaned up because they were full! It wasn't until just after 2 that I was in my delivery room and hooked up to the IV for pitocin. Labor started pretty quick and the contractions got strong really fast. When I was at 3 cm the nurse went ahead and set me me up for the epidural in hopes that it would relax me enough to relax my cervix, too. Which it did. Right after the epidural I was at 4. At about 6 p.m. she came in to check me again and I was about a 5 1/2 to 6. She really wanted me to deliver on her shift, so she decided that my water would "spontaneously" break while she was checking me. I was laughing so hard because it was like the flood gates opened and it wouldn't stop! She was like "It's coming... It's still coming..." LOL After my water "broke" I was at a 7. My epidural was starting to wear off so they gave me a little more medicine and asked me to start laying on one side for 15 minutes and then switch. They said that this would hopefully "trick" my body and make me dilate more. By shift change at 8 p.m. I was still at a 7 and I had to say goodbye to the day nurse. Which was fine with me, I LOVE the night nurse, Melissa. She is absolutely wonderful! I can't remember if they upped my pitocin then or not but at 9 p.m. I was at 9 1/2 but my cervix still had a thick "lip", that is what Melissa said. The pressure was UNBELIEVABLE!!! It wasn't really pain, but it was extremely uncomfortable. Thank god I had my dad and Steve there to coach me through it. My dad was sitting in front of me when I was on my right side telling me to breath when the contractions were at their peaks, resting his hand on mine while I was grasping the railing, and rubbing the back of my head. Steve was behind me reassuring me that it would all be over soon, rubbing my back and telling me that it wouldn't be long before we had our beautiful angel in our arms. He was right. By 9:30 I had to push. The pressure was unbearable. They called for the nurse and she called Dr.Spooner. He was there within 5 minutes and we started pushing. My Mawmaw and Steve were in the room with me while everyone waited just outside the door. Dr.Spooner put on his gloves and looks at Steve like what are you doing? He asks, "well, are you going to deliver this one? If so, you need to put on your gloves." So, again, Steve got to deliver our little girl. Three or four sets of pushes and she was out at 9:43 p.m. She is so amazing. Weighing in at 6 lbs 7 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long. She has beautiful red hair and looks just like me. You can see just a little bit of Steve, but mainly me. She is so tiny! I bawled like a baby after I had her. Sometimes I just can't take my eyes off of her.

The second thing that I am so happy about is Steve. He has passed his paramedic class and will soon be starting his clinicals. We won't get to see him much, but it will all be worth it when he gets that red patch. I am so proud of him. Finally things are looking up for us.

Tiffany really loves Jessica. She is so excited every single day to help me out and to hold her. The other kids are excited, too. Just not as much as Tiffany. I'm so happy that she isn't jealous. Johnathan doesn't exactly know what to think sometimes, but he is getting used to her being around.

And the final thing that has me beaming ear to ear will probably sound silly to all of you, but my breast milk came in last night. In full force! I have never had that happen before and was starting to think that I wouldn't get even a little in like before. I was able to breastfeed Jessica once in the hospital, but after that it was like nothing would come out. I tried to feed her at the house, but she was getting frustrated like she wasn't getting anything out. I tried massaging them, but nothing. So when I was sitting there watching tv last night I didn't expect my boobs to suddenly start hurting. I felt them and they were engorged! So, now I am both breastfeeding and formula feeding. I am so excited. Now I can be happy about being able to breastfeed and happy that I am not going to leave Steve out of the experience of bonding with Jessica while he feeds her formula.

I have never been so happy. I honestly feel like I have kicked PPD right out of my head. I also feel like myself. During the whole pregnancy I felt like something was off. I finally figured out what it was when Steve and I were in bed the other night. My sex drive. I feel sexy again. Even though I do not have my body back yet, I truely feel sexy.

Now, if my pregnancy brain will just finally go away I will be myself completely again!

So many emotions!

So, tomorrow is the day. At this time tomorrow I will be in labor for my third and final time. Adding our last little bundle of joy to the Pearce clan. I have so many thoughts running through my mind that sleep is a far away dream. I am so excited that I will finally get to meet her and that I will no longer be pregnant, but I am so nervous to see what happens when I get home. I have no idea how Tiffany is going to react having a new baby around. I'm worried about the stress of a new baby. It is a very stressful time and it can take a toll on anyone. I just want things to be ok and for me to be able to cope with everything. The excitement overrides everything else though. I can't wait. I am so ready to get it all over with! I will post soon, to let everyone know how it's going.

Almost there!

So, today I am now 36 weeks pregnant! It seems like it has just flown by. So many things have happened since I got pregnant. But, the end is almost here and soon I'll be holding little Jessica Grace in my arms and seeing how beautiful she is! I have an appointment tomorrow just to see how things are. Hopefully I have made some progress. I haven't taken any brethine since the other day. I haven't had any timed contractions but I have had a few strong ones. I am hoping that it may help me progress a little. The brethine keeps me from having contractions but it also keeps me from softening or dilating.

Steve came home yesterday in one of the best moods I have seen him in in a while. I think he had his own little nesting stage. We went to Wal-mart after I picked him up from the Bear Creek station to get dinner for last night. As soon as we got home he went to work, on our bedroom. He rearranged everything so that Jessica's stuff could fit better. Johnathan is now in the play room instead of in our bedroom. He put her pack n' play, bouncer, stroller and car seat together. He helped me reorganize the changing table so that everything looks nicer and helped me get Jessica's Diaper bag ready. Then for dinner he cooked Chicken Parmesan, made a salad, mini pizzas for the kids, and baked a marble cake for desert. Then after he went to the fire meeting and to town for some medicine for John, we watched some TV and spent some adult time together.

It was wonderful!

I am just so happy that in the past few weeks I have finally gotten so excited about the baby. I finally know her name and that she will be here soon. At my last appoinment she was in position and really low. The pressure in my pelvis area seems like it is going to kill me sometimes, but I just keep thinking that I don't have much longer now!

Well, off I go.

HELLO AGAIN

Hello all. I have been gone for a long time now so I thought I would just stop by and say "Hi".
There has been a lot of things going on in my life as with everyone else. If you have read Jen's Blog lately you obviously already know that we are expecting our fifth anytime now. So I am really excited about that. Her name is Jessica Grace Pearce and she will for sure be the last.

I still work at the same place that I have been since last summer. I found out today that I was officially promoted to a shift supervisor over 4 911 trucks and one transfer truck. I thought it was kind of cool since I never even applied for the position and it is a paramedic position. They however thought that with my work ethic, ie: living here, and the fact that I know the protocols and policies rather well that I would make a good choice. I got promoted to Interim Lt. which basically means I am temporary until I get my Paramedic in Jan-Feb and then it becomes permanent. Yes I said Paramedic scary huh. I finally decided what to make of my life. So I started school in August TEEX 15 wk class and now I only have 8 days left. It has not been easy but with the family support I have received it has not been as hard as I thought it would be either. I can't wait until I get in the Certificate that will open up more doors for me and will make my families life a lot better. For those of you who don't know Paramedics are extremely underpaid, However when you consider basics make 7.35-8.20 an hour (yes that is what I've made the past two years doing 911) then 14 seems like a dream come true. It won't be to bad with my Lt. pay and the fact that we average 64 hours a week I will start out making about 48000 at my main job to work 10 days a month. I plan on getting a second job to supplement the income so that Jen can continue to be a stay at home mom.

The main reason that I am posting today though is to say that I like everyone else needs to realize that everyone makes mistakes. You live, you learn, you forgive, leave the judging to God.
Believe me when we all get there I for one know that I will be reminded of mistakes that I have forgotten about that are much worse then the ones that I blame on you. The definition of blame is to verb "To find fault with", noun "The state of being responsible for a fault or error". So I for one believe that maybe I/we should stop using the verb to blame others and start using the noun to admit that we ourselves are at least partially responsible. Hopefully for others this will not take as much heartache, pain, and suffering that it has caused me and others that I am or once was close to to realize.

Good Luck, God Bless, and Be Safe Out There,
Steve

Some more random thoughts, because I'm bored

And I really have nothing else better to do than ramble off into space. I am a member of Cafemom.com. It is a really good site. They have many different groups that you can join for any interest that you have. They have groups for pregnant women, sex, older children, step-parenting, and even psychics. I highly recommend it for anyone who would like to give and/or receive advice about anything. Here is my only warning though. Be prepared for some drama. It is easy to steer clear of, don't reply to any post that is there for the drama effect. As most know, women can be catty about anything. So, you can still get some drama but there are still a lot of really nice women.

The pregnancy is going well. I still have not dilated and my cervix is the same. I haven't taken the medicine to stop contractions unless I am having them. I don't see the point in making my heart race and feeling jittery just to help prevent them. The medicine pretty much stops them when I take it. I am 2 days from being 36 weeks. The nurse at the hospital said that if I go into labor that day or any day after they will not stop my labor. At first I was thinking that I would go in labor early, but now I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I am going to be pregnant forever and some days I feel like I may be a little early. Either way I just want her to be healthy. And of course to get my tubes tied. I can't wait for that to happen! Then no more kiddos for me! I have been having withdrawals from having comfortable sex, too. I know, TMI for you all, but I haven't gone without this long since Steve and I started dating. Anyways, I guess it's time for me to stop rambling and finish eating my waffles. I need to find something else to do anyway.

Annoying days and sleepless nights

So, as of right now it is 4:24 A.M. and I am wide awake. It sucks. My days are consumed with doing stuff for the kids, MIL and helping Steve study. Along with those tasks comes contractions, which are getting more painful everyday. Now not only are they going into my groin, but in my back. Yeah. Back labor. What a joyous thing to have.

My shower is next weekend, thankfully! I am really excited about it. Just help remind me that we do not have much more time left. Tomorrow I will be 34 weeks pregnant and they aren't expecting me to make it to my due date. I don't think I will either. I just hope that I can make it past 36 weeks. I'm actually starting to get a little nervous. I want to know how the kids are going to react to having another baby around. I want to know what the baby looks like. I want to know how I am going to react to having another baby. I was so out of touch with Tiffany. I just don't want that to happen again. With Tiffany I honestly felt like someone was trying to horn in on my bonding experience. It took me so long to completely bond with her. With Johnathan, it only took a week. I just don't want to feel that way again. I was so depressed. I hate being depressed. It is very hard for me to get past depression. It is a very, very difficult feeling for me.

We did find out last week that we are adding another little girl to our bunch. We have decided to name her Jessica Grace. I thought that I was hoping more for a boy, but as soon as I found out that she was a little girl, my heart skipped a beat. I was so happy. After that, I didn't pay much attention to what the ultra sound tech was doing. Except when she would pas over my 2 ticklish spots at the bottom of my stomach. That was funny.

Anyways... I am going to try and sleep again. Anyone know some herbal tea that will help me sleep?

Update on different things

So, it has been a really long time since I have posted anything. I am now 30 weeks pregnant. I only have 10 weeks left! I'm just not as excited as I thought I'd be at this point. I think it's because I don't know the sex of the baby yet and that to me is the exciting part. I am getting anxious because I know I don't have much longer, but I also know that these last 2 months are the most uncomfortable. Hopefully Dr. Spooner will agree to give me another US. I can't stand not knowing.

The kids are doing great. Tiffany is now completely potty trained. She is talking up a storm and is getting to the age to where she doesn't want naps anymore. Yay me... Johnathan is in PreK and LOVING it! He wants to go to school every single day. Even on weekends. My dad went up there for Grandparent's Day last Friday. He had a blast! The teacher told my dad that she loves having him in her class. I'm so glad that he is doing so well. Yesterday he brought home his work from the past week. He had drawn a picture of him and his daddy. It was so cute! My little man is drawing stick figures now! Zachary is in the attitude stage. Thinks that he knows everything, when he knows that I have already talked to his teacher and I look in his folder every single day. Oh well, he will learn eventually. Kaitlyn is getting bored with her school work and starting to get bad grades. She knows how to do it, she just doesn't want to put forth the effort. She does this with reading and math. Sounds just like her father when he was in school.

Other than that, everything is the same. Steve is working all the time and is in school 2 days a week. I don't get to see him much on some weeks, but I'm used to that.

Yeah, gotta love the pregnancy brain!!

So, I'm sitting here knowing that my U/S is set for July 9th. Well, I had my dates off and though that it was this Thursday. NO! It's TODAY!!!! So, I will hopefully find out today!

Update

So, Steve's ex is back. She has again gotten into a fight with her significant other and has moved out of his dad's house. This just happened to fall on the day that the kids were to return to her... Coincidence? I think not. Oh well, I don't really give a shit. As long as my 2 step kids aren't witnessing their stupidity then I don't care what they do. Now they are going to be living back in the trailer. Yippee.

I don't mind much. Steve and I are going to move in with my mom in Livingston. She needs help transporting my little sister to and from work. Their schedules conflict and my sister can't drive her truck until she turns 16. Plus, I am going to be watching the kids from across the street for a couple of days a week. He said he will give me 100 dollars a week. Sounds great to me. The kiddos are nice and John and Tiff love to play with them.

John will be starting school next month! I can't believe that he will going to school. I'm excited for him, but I am also nervous. It is always these first few years that shape how they feel about school. He is so excited about it. Always asking me if he is going to school the next day.

I find out on thursday if we are having a boy or a girl. And we have decided on names. Allyson Grace or Lucas Gene.

Well, off I go.

And the flood gates just never close...

So, the stupidity just keeps flowing. All I can do now is sit back and wait. There really isn't a point to go into any detail. If you are a normal reader, you should already know what I am talking about. All I can say about it is that things will be the way they are supposed to be in due time. I just wish that things will go a little faster. But, patience is a virtue. Here lately it seems that I am running out of it faster and faster. I don't know if that has anything to do with the pregnancy or it's just my bitchiness wanting to come through. Either way I have got to keep it all inside until the time is right. I just hope that I am able to keep it in that long. For now a simple smile and very (and I mean VERY) few words will have to suffice.

Steve is finally enrolled in Paramedic school. His job is paying for 2/3 of it and he has signed a contract. He starts in August and will graduate the week before the baby is due. Cool part is that while I am in the hospital, he will be able to do his Maternity Clinical. So, he will again be dilivering our baby and Dr.Spooner will be getting paid for it. I wonder if he would give a discount? LOL

I find out on the 9th what we are having. The baby girl name battle is over. Now, hopefully, it will be a girl so that we will not have to battle over a boys name. The name we have chosen for a girl is Allyson Grace, Ally for short. I am getting bigger and bigger now. I have been taking pictures every week for a while now, just to see the progress. The baby is really active at times. I love that feeling. Probably one of the best during pregnancy.

Well, I'm gonna go for now. Time for me to eat and relax.

The song that never ends

Or should I say the stupidty that never ends? So, Steve's ex decided to stay here on the prairie. MIL said that there bills would be a little over $98 a week... Well we give her $400 a month for child support. Yet, her and her husband say they can't afford the bills over here. On top of us giving her child support, she gets food stamps and her mother pays for diapers for the 2 babies!!! Can you smell the strong stench of moron where you are? Lord knows I sure as hell can! And on top of all this, they are staying with his daddy in a 2 bedroom piece of shit trailor. So ther will be his daddy, his brother, the 2 dip shits, and 4 more kids! Ugh!

On a lighter note, I just spent 2 really great days with Steve and the oldest 2 in Galveston at Moody Gardens. It was so much fun! The Palm Beach is beautiful!!!
Anyways, that's enough for now... Though I do not see an end to the moron song anytime soon.

What a weekend...

This weekend I found out that my sister is being a typical teenager. Sneaking off in my mom's car and getting caught at the river with an unopened beer in her hand.

Then Steve's ex drops yet another bombshell.

They want to move to either Mississippi or the other side of Wichita... Guess which one they think is the better of the 2. If you thought or said Mississippi then you get the golden snitch and win for the day. I have nothing to say. I am so utterly speechless about the whole ordeal that all I can say is, "Well, can you keep your job this time?" I just want to cry. The kids won't be here when I deliver. We aren't going to be able to see them everyday. I just don't know what else to think. Or say.

Finally, I have the energy to move

Well, I'm back on the prairie. It actually feels nice to be back. Not the best conditions in the world, but hey at least I feel safe again. Not that I was in any danger in Splendora. Just that I know things will work out if we work our butts off. It is going to take a while, a long while. But we have a lot of help this time. I finally feel like the in laws (mainly MIL) has accepted that I'm not going anywhere and that I am actually good for her son. I have never felt like that with someone I have dated before. I never felt like I was good enough. It feels good.

The pregnancy is going good so far. I have been feeling the little peanut move around. Yesterday after my appointment, I started feeling nauseous from all of the movement. I can no longer lay on my stomach because it is just too uncomfortable. I haven't had any weird cravings, I never do. I have just been wanting lots of salad, bread sticks, and I really want some of my sister's delicious chicken noodle soup. I am hoping she will make some this weekend when I go to pick my nephew up.

The older 2 kids are trying to get adjusted with us here again. They aren't used to someone actually enforcing the rules around here. MIL makes excuses for them all of the time and their mother is too wrapped up in her and her husband's world to even notice that they are having a lot of problems. Zachary was doing great while her husband was out of the picture. Then on Mother's day when she decided to start letting him be around the kids again, Zach started acting out. Being mean to the younger kids, talking back to every adult, throwing all out 2 year old tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Kaitlyn starts bawling like a baby when you ask her if she did something wrong, even if she isn't in trouble.

Today I finally had the energy to clean. I vacuumed, dusted (even though Steve dusted the other day), cleaned the kitchen counters, and later I am going to sweep and mop...again. It seems I can never keep the house clean the way I want it. But, that is the price I pay I guess.

Off to make lunch for my 2 youngest. All in the day of a stay at home mom. Maybe that is what I should change my blog name to. What do you guys think?

A great weekend

So this past weekend I finally got to se some old friends and meet their new babies. Saturday Steve and I went to my friend Tricia's house for her engagement party. It was nice. I helped Elizabeth cook authentic mexican rice and beans. FYI NEVER cut up fresh jalepenos without gloves unless you want your fingers to burn and to be constantly reminded of just how spicy they are every time you lick your fingers for a few days after! We sat around just chatting. Then Elizabeth suggests that we all head over to the Blue Bonnet fields that are up towards Brenahm. We all decided that that is a great idea. The next day Steve and I had to go pick up the kiddos, Tiffany was at the inlaws and John was at my sisters. We started off from our house in Splendora at 9:30 A.M. We finally got to Tim and Elizabbeth's house around 2 P.M.!!! Yeah, 4 1/2 hours on the road and we only thought we had a little more to go... They didn't mention that the fields were actually on the other side of Brenham which is about 45 minutes aways from there house! LOL It was ok cause we had lots of fun. Took lots of pics, too.
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(for some reason I cannot figure out how to get the weird writing to go away above the pic) Then we all headed back to Tim's house and sat outside and watched the kiddos play. Tim made fajitas and Elizabeth made more beans and rice. It was so much fun. I love being with my friends.

Then on Tues. I had my first prenatal visit. I then realized that when they give you your EDD based off of your LMS, they start counting the weeks starting from your cycle. Well, I know that I did not get pregnent while on my cycle, it was about 2 weeks later. So, I was unable to hear the heartbeat because I am only 8, almost 9, weeks pregnant. I am still due in Nov. I just have to wait until my first U/S on May 6th to know a more exact due date.

Anyways, back to doing things for my MIL.

Here's a news flash for ya

The Sperm Donor is back in state jail! Gee, that's a real shocker, huh? I got a wild hair up my butt and asked Steve to look up on the net if he was back in jail because we hadn't been harassed in a while. Low an behold there was his criminal record with yet another felony charge. this time it was credit/debit card fraud. Looks like I was right once again. I knew he would never change and his parents didn't understand why I would want supervised visitation. Guess they can now stick their foot in their mouth!

Welcome back...

To the joys of pregnancy! Yes, that is right. I have just found out a couple of weeks ago that I am joyously pregnant with my third! We had decided to try again in January and I through out the birth control. Low and behold, as soon as we move into the new house and I am nice and relaxed...I get pregnant right off. I am due in November. Surprisingly everyone in BOTH families took it very well. The MIL just said that it better be a girl, for some reason she thinks that little me either won't be able to handle having a big baby or that the baby would end up growing to be short like me. What she doesn't think about is how big Johnathan was at birth and how big he is now (he is expected to be about 6' tall). He may bot be as is as most, but he was the biggest baby born in my entire family. A whopping 8 lbs. 6 oz. Tiffany was still bigger than most of them at 7 lbs. 1 oz. Either way everyone is excited.

This time my tubes will be tied!

The house is going great. Steve did get hurt for a couple of weeks and was off of work, but I have kept my faith that He will not let us down. We are working hard for what we have and we are not going to just let go.

We also have another new addition to our family. We are the proud parents of a beautiful lemon beagle named Shoeshine. We rescued him from the SPCA for Johnathan's 4Th birthday present. He is so gorgeous! He is already house trained, plays fetch, and is wonderful with kids. Tiffany plays with his food while he eats and even gets the ball from him when we are all playing. When he comes in after being outside for a long time or after he gets a bath, he does the beagle run. Going from one room to the next like a flash of fur covered lightening. He is one of the best dogs I have ever had.

Now if I can just get past the nausea and low energy I will be even better!

Long time no see, huh?

It sure has been along time since I have been on here but, in that time my life has really taken a turn for the good.

I finally have a house of my OWN. We are now living in Splendora and things are better than to be expected. Steve did get hurt 2 weeks ago and was out of work, but that is all better now. He is able to work overtime to make it up.

Johnathan is going to be four this Friday. I know that most people say that the time flies, and it did; it just seems a lot longer than 4 years. He is getting his very first dog for his birthday. A very cute and cuddly Lemon beagle that he has so proudly named Shoeshine (after Underdog). He is very well behaved and the kids love him. He is one of the sweetest dogs I have seen in a long time.

Tiffany has definitely filled the shoes of the Diva of the family. She still holds her breath but she doesn't pass out anymore. She thinks she knows how to run the house and will tell you everything that's on her mind. While we were at the SPCA looking at dogs, she was more interested in looking the cats or bunnies than anything else.

Steve and I are closer than we have ever been. I never knew that I could love someone so much that no matter how mad he makes me, he can say he's sorry and it just go away. I know I'm sounding like some sappy teenager who needs to get a life and you think that it's not really that great. Whose relationship is really that good?

We have been going to church lately. I am actually learning the word of God for a change instead of falling asleep or passing notes. Moving away from all of the stress and having time to think has made me realise that what I needed was right there in front of me the whole time. To finally have complete faith.

Well, that's all for now. I will be coming here more often.