It's that time of year, again...

So, my birthday is just around the corner. Is it just me, or do they come faster every year? I will be the big 23... I don't really know how to feel. On one hand I am very excited to be with my family and friends but, on the other I just feel blah. Who knows... My birthday is always bittersweet for me. My step-dad died 2 days after my 12th birthday. I miss him so much. He was the closet I had to a dad when I was growing up. We may not have had the best of things, but I guess as a kid you don't really realize it. I remember everything being so fun. Then when I got older I realized that not everything was the way I remembered. We didn't have much money for anything and the couple of times that we had gotten really nice stuff for Christmas we were robbed. I remembered him being such a great man. On the other hand, my sister despised him. She would do anything and everything to get under his skin. And it worked. She was finally taken away from us when she was 14 or so. He had beaten her at the stables where we kept our horses. Some people called the cops and she was taken into CPS custody. I was only spanked once by him and he apologized for it. If he would have been alive when I was a teen, I know things would have been different. I definitely would not have done the stuff I did.

I don't know. All the years in therepy never really helped. Just helped me to figure out that it wasn't my fault...